I owe you so much
more than sorry.

about the night of the twentieth of June

I think I know what you are feeling right now. You are not angry with me. You are tired, and you are hurt, and right now you do not feel much love for me at all.

And I understand, sweetheart. I am not writing this to rush you, or to ask you to feel okay today. I only want a chance to earn your love and your trust back, slowly, in the way you have always deserved. So take all the time you need. I can wait. I am not going anywhere, and I will wait for as long as it takes.

I know exactly what I did.

I have realised everything I did wrong. I have realised how much I hurt you, how selfish I was, and how badly I let you down when you needed me to be there.

• i.I was selfish, and I put what I wanted above how you felt.
• ii.I was cold and disrespectful, and I said things that were meant to hurt.
• iii.I did not take care of you the way you have always taken care of me.
• iv.I left you crying alone that night, and walking away from you was the worst of all of it.

You did not deserve any of that. Not the words, not the coldness, not being left on your own. You deserved someone who chose you in that moment, and I did not. I will carry that until I have made it right.

Loving you is not only the easy days.

It is being gentle with you on the hard ones. It is staying when leaving would be simpler, and holding you instead of hurting you. I lost sight of that, and I let my own selfishness speak for me.

I do not want to be the reason your eyes look the way they do right now. I want to be the person you feel safe with again. Not because of a page like this, but because of how I actually treat you, every ordinary day after it.

A pinky promise.

You have always believed in them, and so do I. Press it to seal it.

• I promise to be open with you, and to let you in instead of shutting you out.
• I promise to take care of you, in the small quiet ways and the big ones.
• I promise to never leave you crying alone again. I will stay, and I will hold you.
• I promise to put us before my own selfishness.
• I promise to keep choosing you, especially on the days it is hard.

I am not going anywhere.

You do not have to feel everything at once. Take all the time you need. I am not asking you to be alright today. I am only asking you to let me show you, slowly and for real, that I meant every word on this page.

You are my person, and I intend to spend a very long time proving I deserve to be yours.

with all of my love,Your Giraffe